The Election of 2016 and The Church
* For the record: I have never written a "blog" before. I am not a good writer, and I have no intentions in writing this now. I just desire a space to help me process the things going on in my life.
Where do I even begin?
My life has been a mess the last 6 months - I have never felt so disconnected and drained in any season of my life. There are too many reasons to equate to my current state and too many thoughts rushing thru my brain to adequately express the scope of why I am where I am right now, but two pivotal things have taken place over the last two years that have led me to the space I am in currently.
The Election of 2016 & the Church
When Donald Trump was elected president in November of 2016 I felt my world collapsing around me. The pillars I had built my faith on, my friendships on, and the life I thought I knew, were crumbling all at once. Now before you read this an assume I'm just another "snowflake" who can't handle real life, let me explain where I am coming from.
As a follower of Jesus Christ, or as many would call me, a Christian, I had found great joy in following Jesus. The ministry and Job I currently have revolve around him. The people and relationships I had were centered around Him. Christ was the center and all things flowed through the lens of what that meant. But things changed. My closest friends who were in the trenches with me of following Christ and loving kids began to say and do things that tore at my heart. Many around me uttered the words of the current President of the United States. Words and actions like:
- "Mexicans are rapists and murder's" (THEY ARE NOT)
- "African nations are 'Shit hole' countries" (THEY ARE NOT)
- " Grab her by the P*****"
- "Build that wall"
- The blatant act of making fun of a reporter with a physical disability
- The refusal of the president to call white-supermacists racists and "bad people"
- Calling (black) NFL players "Bastards"
- Calling for a ban on all Muslim's from the United States
- The degrading of countless women
(please don't dismiss this entire list, and the long list of things I did not mention, because one of these things isn't correct, it doesn't change the fact of the matter.)
The list goes on, and on, and on - and the weight of watching my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ either agree with these statements, or (NOT ANY BETTER) actively overlook these statements and actions has caused me to question everything that I know.
If you know me at all, you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and for better or worse, I often take on the emotions of those around me. In this season, the people I wanted to fight for most were being attacked, left out, and demonized. They were hurt, they are hurt, and so am I.
What am I to do?
I feel powerless - hopeless - angry - distraught - and wronged
But where the individuality of my friends tore at my inner circle, my trust, my heart - the church tore at my hope.
The Church
As a follower of Jesus we are taught to cherish the church, to give to the church, to be for the church, but, for the first time in my life I have found myself struggling to do just that. And before you think this is me bashing the church, know that I want to love the church, I want to be for the church, but there is a deeply rooted issue of systemic racism and sin in the western church that lingers within and for the majority, it feels better to let the issue just be... rather than speak about it.
I can't. I just can't.
*82% - the percentage of the white evangelical church that voted for the current President.
That means that on any given Sunday, when I walk into a church to worship, to find hope, to seek refuge, I am reminded that the statistics tell me 8 out of 10 people in my row either cheerfully voted for a man that lifts up racism and hatred or blindly gave him the authority to do so. And either way, whether it be purposefully or ignorantly, the large majority of the church I am called to love has excepted things I simply cannot look past.
Would you let that sink in for a moment? Christians, the people called to a life of caring for the poor, the sick, the hungry, those seeking refuge from terrible spaces, the marginalized, the broken hearted, the outcast - those people....Christians, voted against those things.
Maybe you're one of the people who voted for the current President, maybe you've even come to understand the hurt it has caused your brothers and sisters but nonetheless, the vote was cast and every Sunday that I walk into a church I am reminded that 8 out of every 10 people near me allowed this to happen. Church is no longer a refuge for me, it is no longer a safe space for me, it is no longer a place I feel I can trust. It breaks my heart in more ways than I express, but now, the church represents our president, and our president represents the church, at least currently. And I am not sure that I can walk into any church today and not help but wonder... "did these people who loudly and publicly praise Yahweh silently praise Donald Trump?" - "Do these people hide in the darkness what I cannot see?"
Maybe you're like me; you're hurting too, you are grieving as if you have lost a loved one, because that's how it feels. I have lost the church. It has died, or at least it's been removed from my family. And I hate that, but I cannot look past it.
There is hope - but right now the light that shines brighter than the darkness feels hidden, cloaked in racism and systemic oppression and until the sin that so easily entangles is brought to light I will struggle to see the church as my home. I hope and pray the Lord will move in my heart and give me peace, but for now I am taking a break from the church and I honestly don't know when or what will move me back in.
A Side Note - For every pastor, preacher, and person who works for a church, your job is hard. It's so hard and I hope you know that I am for you. We have to do better - we must - but I am and always will be for you.
In Christ,
Jeremiah
Where do I even begin?
My life has been a mess the last 6 months - I have never felt so disconnected and drained in any season of my life. There are too many reasons to equate to my current state and too many thoughts rushing thru my brain to adequately express the scope of why I am where I am right now, but two pivotal things have taken place over the last two years that have led me to the space I am in currently.
The Election of 2016 & the Church
When Donald Trump was elected president in November of 2016 I felt my world collapsing around me. The pillars I had built my faith on, my friendships on, and the life I thought I knew, were crumbling all at once. Now before you read this an assume I'm just another "snowflake" who can't handle real life, let me explain where I am coming from.
As a follower of Jesus Christ, or as many would call me, a Christian, I had found great joy in following Jesus. The ministry and Job I currently have revolve around him. The people and relationships I had were centered around Him. Christ was the center and all things flowed through the lens of what that meant. But things changed. My closest friends who were in the trenches with me of following Christ and loving kids began to say and do things that tore at my heart. Many around me uttered the words of the current President of the United States. Words and actions like:
- "Mexicans are rapists and murder's" (THEY ARE NOT)
- "African nations are 'Shit hole' countries" (THEY ARE NOT)
- " Grab her by the P*****"
- "Build that wall"
- The blatant act of making fun of a reporter with a physical disability
- The refusal of the president to call white-supermacists racists and "bad people"
- Calling (black) NFL players "Bastards"
- Calling for a ban on all Muslim's from the United States
- The degrading of countless women
(please don't dismiss this entire list, and the long list of things I did not mention, because one of these things isn't correct, it doesn't change the fact of the matter.)
The list goes on, and on, and on - and the weight of watching my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ either agree with these statements, or (NOT ANY BETTER) actively overlook these statements and actions has caused me to question everything that I know.
If you know me at all, you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and for better or worse, I often take on the emotions of those around me. In this season, the people I wanted to fight for most were being attacked, left out, and demonized. They were hurt, they are hurt, and so am I.
What am I to do?
I feel powerless - hopeless - angry - distraught - and wronged
But where the individuality of my friends tore at my inner circle, my trust, my heart - the church tore at my hope.
The Church
As a follower of Jesus we are taught to cherish the church, to give to the church, to be for the church, but, for the first time in my life I have found myself struggling to do just that. And before you think this is me bashing the church, know that I want to love the church, I want to be for the church, but there is a deeply rooted issue of systemic racism and sin in the western church that lingers within and for the majority, it feels better to let the issue just be... rather than speak about it.
I can't. I just can't.
*82% - the percentage of the white evangelical church that voted for the current President.
That means that on any given Sunday, when I walk into a church to worship, to find hope, to seek refuge, I am reminded that the statistics tell me 8 out of 10 people in my row either cheerfully voted for a man that lifts up racism and hatred or blindly gave him the authority to do so. And either way, whether it be purposefully or ignorantly, the large majority of the church I am called to love has excepted things I simply cannot look past.
Would you let that sink in for a moment? Christians, the people called to a life of caring for the poor, the sick, the hungry, those seeking refuge from terrible spaces, the marginalized, the broken hearted, the outcast - those people....Christians, voted against those things.
Maybe you're one of the people who voted for the current President, maybe you've even come to understand the hurt it has caused your brothers and sisters but nonetheless, the vote was cast and every Sunday that I walk into a church I am reminded that 8 out of every 10 people near me allowed this to happen. Church is no longer a refuge for me, it is no longer a safe space for me, it is no longer a place I feel I can trust. It breaks my heart in more ways than I express, but now, the church represents our president, and our president represents the church, at least currently. And I am not sure that I can walk into any church today and not help but wonder... "did these people who loudly and publicly praise Yahweh silently praise Donald Trump?" - "Do these people hide in the darkness what I cannot see?"
Maybe you're like me; you're hurting too, you are grieving as if you have lost a loved one, because that's how it feels. I have lost the church. It has died, or at least it's been removed from my family. And I hate that, but I cannot look past it.
There is hope - but right now the light that shines brighter than the darkness feels hidden, cloaked in racism and systemic oppression and until the sin that so easily entangles is brought to light I will struggle to see the church as my home. I hope and pray the Lord will move in my heart and give me peace, but for now I am taking a break from the church and I honestly don't know when or what will move me back in.
A Side Note - For every pastor, preacher, and person who works for a church, your job is hard. It's so hard and I hope you know that I am for you. We have to do better - we must - but I am and always will be for you.
In Christ,
Jeremiah
Comments
Post a Comment