God, and Real Grace.

 
   There is so much to say, and what feels like, so little time. In a season of chaos, uncertainty, and even struggle, God has been teaching me some things about Grace that I really want to share. I hope you can find yourself in this somewhere.

   For a person who has always lived a life trying to measure up, and hold a certain image, this season of my life has left those dreams in the dirt. Currently, I feel exposed. I feel like people can see the real me, the bad stuff, the things I don't post on Instagram and fight with everything in me to hide at all cost.

   I find myself wondering what others are thinking about me, making up conversations in my head about what they would say, or what they think. Friends, if you are having a conversation in your head with someone, and they don't know about said conversation, that is not good! I am fighting to give people grace, because God has been teaching me a lot about grace.

...

GRACE

   This is such a watered down word, I struggle to even allow it to mean anything when God is nudging me to lean into it. So what is grace according to God? What has God been saying to me? Let me invite you in...

"Jeremiah, grace is not what you think. Your idea of grace is too small. Your grace has limits, and speculations, and rules. You require something in order for grace to be given."

                    God needs to back up cause he's really acting like he knows me....

"Jeremiah, let me tell you about MY GRACE. My grace knows no limits, it has no boundaries, it gives no list of wrongs or faults. My grace IS grace. Grace means you cannot earn it, and no matter how hard you try to, you can never lose it. My grace will always be yours and in the midst of all your disapointments, in all of your failures, at the bottom of the mountain, in the valley, or at the peak, My grace will be there." 

                  "Yea...but" - (me, probably)

"Jeremiah, can I remind you, of real grace. The type of grace found by Peter on the resurrection morning. You know, the three days of agony Peter spent mourning the loss of Jesus. Knowing that his own words, his own actions, they led to the death of his best friend. And then, in the perfect picture of grace, Jesus, on Easter morning, ran and found Peter. The grace in that moment, when Peter heard Jesus call out his name from the shore. The deep, unwavering grace in that moment when Peter met Jesus on the shore, despite all of his faults, all of his betrayal, all of the broken promises. Grace was there. This is real grace, Jeremiah." 

"Do you Love Me?" asked Jesus

                 "Yes", I said.

"Then how dare you question how deep my grace is. How dare you think you are too bad, to messed up, to dirty, or too anything for my grace. There is no cup of which my grace cannot fill, and you will never run far enough, fast enough, or long enough, to not be loved by me." 

__________________________________

   And so, I am learning that for the longest time now, I have misunderstood what grace means. I have boxed it up, put it on a shelf, and reserved it for when I needed it. God is teaching me, that grace is immeasurable, unreachable, and yet, fully mine, always.

   And it is yours as well, friends. I hope in this season you're in, you will know a grace like this. And maybe you will allow this grace to let yourself be free from the things you haven't let go. From the hurt you are still carrying, and the wounds which you haven't healed.

To know grace is to know an abundance that surpasses all expectations or imagination.